It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
