Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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