I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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