I accidentally burped into my bong.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
