hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
