so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
