he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize