why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
