I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
