people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
