in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
