I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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