If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
