Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
