i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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