just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize