THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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