So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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