oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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