She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
