the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize