she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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