i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
