they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
