i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
