If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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