I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
