The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
