Sponge bath it is.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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