You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
