He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
