I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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