8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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