i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
