I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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