Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
