ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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