So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
