No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
