Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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