Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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