THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
