Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
