Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
