i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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