If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
