Cold hands, warm shart.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
