I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
