i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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