There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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