you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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