After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
