I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
