he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my shit smells like andre
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
