Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
