Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
