Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
