can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
