jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
