She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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