I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Every concussion has its silver lining
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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