You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
