The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The uberlube is also flammable
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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