What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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