they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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