Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize