there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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