and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
