Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
