are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
