can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's shark week go big or go home
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize