just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
