Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
