a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
