I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize