New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think your dad took our porno
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
